DAY 223: Do Gwammas Have Super-Powers?

No matter how good my wife and I think we’ve gotten at handling Jake, there are days when both of us are stumped. Nothing seems to soothe him. Not singing, dancing or shooshing. Even the Magic Booby doesn’t work!

Then he gets one look at Gwamma, or even hears her voice, and his face lights up like a Christmas tree! Is it the experience and the relaxed “been there, done that” approach that makes her so damn good!? The boy can go from flinging his own dung in a rage across the room to laughing in seconds!

All I know is that when Gwammas holding her “Tootie (Cutie)”, I have time for a sandwich and a beer. He’s not paying attention to me for a looong time. Thank you Gwamma! We love you!!!

DAY 222: The Secret to Getting Any Woman to Like You!

Ha! Made you look guys! Just keep reading. It’s our third Wedding Anniversary today! It has been a crazy three years too, let me tell ya! We went right from planning the wedding, to rebuilding a house, to getting preggers, to raising little Jakey. Time has flown! And I don’t see the future slowing down much!

You’ve always heard “happy wife, happy life.” One key that I’ve learned to the “happy wife” part is that you don’t always have to be the big strong man. You don’t need to offer a solution to every single little problem. All you have to do is listen. Women just want someone to listen to them. Why do you think a girl can sit on the phone with their friend for hours, yet sometimes you don’t hear her say 10 words? She’s just listening. Women are natural-born listeners. It’s a skill I’m trying to improve.
Flowers don’t hurt from time to time, either. Happy Anniversary baby! I love you!
Honeymooning on The Turks Islands

DAY 221: Generosity…

Hello all! This is going to be a short post. It’s an easy one. The topic is: generosity. Jake is scooting around on a like-new walker because of the generosity of his cousin. He has nicer clothes than we would ever buy because of the generosity of his aunties, cousins, and friends. I don’t think we’ve had to buy an article of clothing yet!?

It’s funny. Whenever I’ve asked someone to borrow two grand, they laugh in my face. Mention baby Jakey, and we have truckloads of stuff in front of the house the next morning!

I’ll make this short and sweet. Thank you! We love you! And what about that two grand?:)

DAY 220: Ghosts, Angels, or Possessed Toys?

“It” happened again. For those of you that have been following along, remember when Jake’s Record-a-Book On the Night You Were Born read three pages to him while sitting tightly closed on a bookshelf?

Yesterday morning, through Jake’s monitor, I hear his little Sing-a-long Seahorse playing in his crib. So I think he’s up, he’s fine, he’s playing. I also thought, how did that smart little stinker figure out how to turn that thing on? The Seahorse played 3 five minute intervals and stopped. I waited to hear Jake squawking away… Nothing for another five minutes. Then I could hear him start to wake up. 
I found him in his crib, bright-eyed and stirring in his usual sleeping position. The Seahorse was at his feet. Again, I squeezed the toy, shook it, pressed on it’s belly, anything to get it to play. I always just assumed the batteries were dead, or I was too dumb to turn it on.  

So I asked someone smarter than the toy, my wife, to show me how to turn it on. You have to unzip the back of the Seahorse and locate the on/off switch on the battery pack. The switch was in the OFF position at the time she schooled me on this.
Unless Jake unzipped the toy, flipped the switch to ON, pressed the toy’s belly three times to make it play for fifteen minutes, turned the switch to OFF, zipped it back up, placed in at his feet, all while he was sleeping… then the toy played on it’s own.
Being Ghost Adventure freaks, my wife and I tried to de-bunk both experiences. In the case of the book, we said maybe because the book is heat/touch sensitive, and the bookshelf sits near a window, maybe the sun light triggered it. Sounds plausible. 
But neither one of us can explain this one. So the question remains, who made the Seahorse sing???

DAY 219: It’s All About the Boobies

As babies, all men know is that boobies soothe and feed them. Obviously that perspective changes as we get older. Boobies entertain us! They excite us! They amaze us! They make us do the dumbest things! Men will pay to see them, and even pay for women to have bigger ones installed!

All I know is that I’m going to try and refrain from influencing Jake in anyway (see bib). MTV will do that for me.

DAY 218: A Star is Born!

It’s official! Jake has his very first drum set! I think I’ve played it 10 times more than he has, but, he’s diggin’ it! I’ll tap on the drums and count “1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4” as he just stares bewildered at his foolish instructor. When I stop, there’s a pause, and he whacks a drum a few times in response. It’s a start little buddy!

I found the coolest company for eco/kid friendly toys. Check out I know the first thing Jake’s going to do is chew on everything. Plan Toys are all chemical and preservative-free. My wife cringed when she saw him chewing on a drum stick. I said “chew away little man, daddy does his research!”

You see, my wife is the “greenest” person I’ve ever known. She composts. She uses water from a rain barrel, not a garden hose. We recycle 98% of our trash. Heck, she even makes me catch my own farts in a mason jar so the methane doesn’t effect the O-Zone! So, when she gave Plan Toys the “thumbs up”, I knew they’re doing all the right things for our kids. Check out Jake and his Musical Band!

DAY 217: Our Anniversary!? Of Course I Remembered!

My three year wedding anniversary is right around the corner. I always do remember special occasions, although I like to play dumb as if I forgot all about them. I’m not sure why, but I get a twisted satisfaction out of letting my wife believe I’m a total A-hole right up until the moment I surprise her.

Everything has become so focused on the baby that I feel like I’ve lost a bit of my mojo in the “coming up with cool gift idea category”. Of course, I Googled anniversary gift ideas. Everything is based on the old traditional gift idea. For third year, the suggested gifts are to be made of glass, crystal or leather. I’m sure I could come up with several ideas, most of them comical, based on those criteria.

My question to you is, does anyone really follow that traditional gift mumbo-jumbo? Or do you just buy the person something that you know they’ll like, regardless what Google and some old ninnies say?

Let’s face it, it’s hard to get a gift for the woman who has it all;)

DAY 216: The Results Are In!!!

Sorry, no internet connection last night. I’ll have to post twice today to keep the streak alive!

To make a long story short, Jake’s EEG was NORMAL!!! We have a perfectly healthy baby. How does that make me feel? Relieved. I’ve been holding my breath for a week.

Am I gloating? No. Am I more than thankful? Yes. Does it make my heart ache even more for friends and family who live in Doctor’s offices and hospitals? Yes. We were only there once. I can’t imagine going through that weekly, or even worse, daily.

Some dear friends have dealt with the worst circumstances imaginable. Now having a child, I do not understand how they got through it!? In my eyes, they’re the strongest people I’ve ever known. Personal heroes.

Go hug your kid. We’ll talk later…

I told you not to worry Dad…

DAY 215: A Legacy Passed On?

I have to say that I haven’t been this excited since, I don’t know, the…Wham reunion concert!?!?! Jake’s very first DRUM SET arrives tomorrow! It’s a little wooden kit. So cool! Now, I know what you’re saying. “Don’t try to impress your own interests on your kid! He’s his own person!” True. I don’t care if he learns to play drums. But, I most certainly want him to learn an appreciation for music!

As a kid, the stereo was always on in my house. My Dad bought me a guitar at first. A Fender Mustang. My self-diagnosed Attention Deficit Disorder hindered me from learning how to read music. But it didn’t stop me from learning how to air guitar to ‘Jesse’s Girl’ in front of the mirror for hours on end. In the meantime, my Dad also bought me a drum set after seeing me fashion fake drum kits out of coffee cans and frying pans. He’d play old REO Speedwagon, Billy Joel, Elton John, etc. on the stereo and let me blast away on my blue speckled Slingerland four-piece with Zildian cymbals.

I’ve still never learned how to read music. Although, I did teach myself how to play drums by watching and listening to all the Greats! I would have never learned that appreciation for music if wasn’t passed down from my Old Man. They’re still some of the fondest memories I have. One day I was practicing in the garage. My Dad cranked up the radio, and spun through the dial. I could play every single song he stopped at! The real test: He’d turn the volume down for a few bars as I kept playing. Sure enough, when he turned the song back up, I’d never missed a beat! I’ll never forget the smile on his face. That is one legacy I will not lay to rest.

So, I’ve been scrolling through iTunes, trying to find cool songs to hammer away to on Jake’s cool little kit. I don’t mean to try and teach him to “walk before he can crawl”, but, I think this one may stir some interest. He loves hittin’ the bouncy seat to this one! Any ideas???

DAY 214: 7 Months!? Already!?

I can not believe Jake is 7 months old! Everyone says “they grow up so fast”. That really is true. Before I know it, he’ll will be forging his report cards and sneaking my car out at night! Until then, I’ll just enjoy watching this little miracle man grow and change every day. Thanks little buddy for making our world a whole lot brighter!

Look out Gerber Baby!!!