“It” happened again. For those of you that have been following along, remember when Jake’s Record-a-Book On the Night You Were Born read three pages to him while sitting tightly closed on a bookshelf?

As babies, all men know is that boobies soothe and feed them. Obviously that perspective changes as we get older. Boobies entertain us! They excite us! They amaze us! They make us do the dumbest things! Men will pay to see them, and even pay for women to have bigger ones installed!

All I know is that I’m going to try and refrain from influencing Jake in anyway (see bib). MTV will do that for me.

It’s official! Jake has his very first drum set! I think I’ve played it 10 times more than he has, but, he’s diggin’ it! I’ll tap on the drums and count “1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4” as he just stares bewildered at his foolish instructor. When I stop, there’s a pause, and he whacks a drum a few times in response. It’s a start little buddy!

I found the coolest company for eco/kid friendly toys. Check out http://www.plantoys.com. I know the first thing Jake’s going to do is chew on everything. Plan Toys are all chemical and preservative-free. My wife cringed when she saw him chewing on a drum stick. I said “chew away little man, daddy does his research!”

You see, my wife is the “greenest” person I’ve ever known. She composts. She uses water from a rain barrel, not a garden hose. We recycle 98% of our trash. Heck, she even makes me catch my own farts in a mason jar so the methane doesn’t effect the O-Zone! So, when she gave Plan Toys the “thumbs up”, I knew they’re doing all the right things for our kids. Check out Jake and his Musical Band!

My three year wedding anniversary is right around the corner. I always do remember special occasions, although I like to play dumb as if I forgot all about them. I’m not sure why, but I get a twisted satisfaction out of letting my wife believe I’m a total A-hole right up until the moment I surprise her.

Everything has become so focused on the baby that I feel like I’ve lost a bit of my mojo in the “coming up with cool gift idea category”. Of course, I Googled anniversary gift ideas. Everything is based on the old traditional gift idea. For third year, the suggested gifts are to be made of glass, crystal or leather. I’m sure I could come up with several ideas, most of them comical, based on those criteria.

My question to you is, does anyone really follow that traditional gift mumbo-jumbo? Or do you just buy the person something that you know they’ll like, regardless what Google and some old ninnies say?

Let’s face it, it’s hard to get a gift for the woman who has it all;)

Sorry, no internet connection last night. I’ll have to post twice today to keep the streak alive!

To make a long story short, Jake’s EEG was NORMAL!!! We have a perfectly healthy baby. How does that make me feel? Relieved. I’ve been holding my breath for a week.

Am I gloating? No. Am I more than thankful? Yes. Does it make my heart ache even more for friends and family who live in Doctor’s offices and hospitals? Yes. We were only there once. I can’t imagine going through that weekly, or even worse, daily.

Some dear friends have dealt with the worst circumstances imaginable. Now having a child, I do not understand how they got through it!? In my eyes, they’re the strongest people I’ve ever known. Personal heroes.

Go hug your kid. We’ll talk later…

I told you not to worry Dad…

I have to say that I haven’t been this excited since, I don’t know, the…Wham reunion concert!?!?! Jake’s very first DRUM SET arrives tomorrow! It’s a little wooden kit. So cool! Now, I know what you’re saying. “Don’t try to impress your own interests on your kid! He’s his own person!” True. I don’t care if he learns to play drums. But, I most certainly want him to learn an appreciation for music!

As a kid, the stereo was always on in my house. My Dad bought me a guitar at first. A Fender Mustang. My self-diagnosed Attention Deficit Disorder hindered me from learning how to read music. But it didn’t stop me from learning how to air guitar to ‘Jesse’s Girl’ in front of the mirror for hours on end. In the meantime, my Dad also bought me a drum set after seeing me fashion fake drum kits out of coffee cans and frying pans. He’d play old REO Speedwagon, Billy Joel, Elton John, etc. on the stereo and let me blast away on my blue speckled Slingerland four-piece with Zildian cymbals.

I’ve still never learned how to read music. Although, I did teach myself how to play drums by watching and listening to all the Greats! I would have never learned that appreciation for music if wasn’t passed down from my Old Man. They’re still some of the fondest memories I have. One day I was practicing in the garage. My Dad cranked up the radio, and spun through the dial. I could play every single song he stopped at! The real test: He’d turn the volume down for a few bars as I kept playing. Sure enough, when he turned the song back up, I’d never missed a beat! I’ll never forget the smile on his face. That is one legacy I will not lay to rest.

So, I’ve been scrolling through iTunes, trying to find cool songs to hammer away to on Jake’s cool little kit. I don’t mean to try and teach him to “walk before he can crawl”, but, I think this one may stir some interest. He loves hittin’ the bouncy seat to this one! Any ideas???

I can not believe Jake is 7 months old! Everyone says “they grow up so fast”. That really is true. Before I know it, he’ll will be forging his report cards and sneaking my car out at night! Until then, I’ll just enjoy watching this little miracle man grow and change every day. Thanks little buddy for making our world a whole lot brighter!

Look out Gerber Baby!!!

FIRST, A VERY SPECIAL THANK YOU TO THE PEOPLE AT REAL KIDS SHADES FOR HAVING A GREAT PRODUCT AND FOR BEING COOL ENOUGH TO DO THIS!!!

HERE IS THE WINNER’S COMMENT:

I swear, there is no sight as sweet as your baby drifting off to sleep. I’m not talking sweet, as in sentimentally sweet. I mean sweet as in “SWEET! I CAN FINALLY GET SOME SH!T DONE!” kind of sweet.
It reminds me of when I used to wait for my parents to go to sleep so I could stay up all night and watch TV. Now, I wait for Jake to pass out so I can shower. Ah, the circle of life:)

“HE’S OUT COLD! GO! GO! GO!”

I’ll admit, I sometimes have the tendency to cuss like a drunken sailor. Although, I’m making a conscious effort to curtail the “trucker mouth” in front of Jake. I’d never forgive myself if his first words were “bull…shit…DADA!” So, I’m learning new and interesting ways to put a spin on my favorite go-to bad words. My absolutest, mostest, favoritest is replacing the F-word with FUDGE! Honestly try it and you will laugh all day! “WHAT THE FUDGE!?” “YOU’VE GOTTA BE FUDGIN’ KIDDIN’ ME MAN!?” “FUDGE OFF, YOU MOTHER FUDGER!” Oh fudge, I’m laughing as I’m typing this! The possibilities are endless! I FUDGIN’ LOVE IT!!!

“FUDGE YOU, AND A, FUDGE YOU TOO!”