DAY 284: Google Adsense Proves I Have Problems!

OK, today’s installment isn’t completely baby related. I’ll explain the significance and humor of it to him later. Google places advertisements on 1FD based on key words chosen from my posts. I CRACK UP every time I log in! I see ads ranging from dentures to pregnancy hotlines, and t-shirts to cures for irritable bowels! NO wonder no one clicks on the ads, except ME!:)

PS – THANK YOU TO THOSE OF YOU THAT STOP BY FROM TIME TO TIME! I GET A WARM FUZZY IN MY TUMMY WHEN I HEAR AND READ YOUR COMMENTS! I APPRECIATE YOU FOLLOWING ALONG!:)

DAY 283: Really, Aren’t Six Teeth Enough!?

We can’t spot another tooth coming in, but Jake’s behavior leads us to believe the contrary. He’s crabby, crying, tugging at his ears (a tell-tale sign), feeding non-stop, and waking up every hour. He shows no symptoms of being sick. Although, you’d think he were shitting hot tacks!

You know I’m worth every minute!
I’ve seen plenty of people that get by with even fewer than six teeth! They eat a lot of yogurt and they seem very happy. Does he really need anymore toofers!? 

DAY 280: Baby Safe-House!!!

Baby-proofing the house has begun! It’s maddening! You look around each room and think, what is this kid going to chew on, crawl into, pull down on top of him, put his finger in, or poop on? For Jake’s room, I’m thinking rubber floor, garden hose hook-up for easy cleanup, all outlets moved up to chest high, and all toys are round and BPA free.

I OWN THIS MUTHA!!!

DAY 278: Little People Take a Stand!!!

Good morning big person!
I can’t help but smile each time I walk in to grab Jake from the crib after his nap and find him standing up. He’s a strong little man. On the flip side, he also does it when he’s extremely tired and inevitably falls and cracks his melon. It’s easy to pick up on the baby monitor. You can’t miss the thud followed by him going completely bat-shit. 

DAY 277: Will Positive Visualization Lead Us to the Ellen Show?

Maybe we can be on when Pam’s there?:)
For weeks, I have read and listened to so many books written by amazingly successful people that inspired and/or helped write and film The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. If you haven’t seen or read The Secret, you should!

Wallace Wattles is the Godfather of positive thought and the law of attraction. He penned The Science of Getting Rich back in the early 1900’s. This was the book that inspired Rhonda Byrne to write The Secret. Norman Vincent Peale took it a step further around 1960 with The Power of Positive Thinking. Those books spawned many famous practitioners of “The New Thought Movement” such as Bob Proctor, John Assaraf, Michael Bernard Beckwith, and Jack Canfield, author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series.
No I’m not going to shave my head and start passing out Kool Aid! Despite subtle differences, all these books discuss the same simple principles that can make a huge impact on your life! Training your mind to overcome negativity, how to build unwavering faith in yourself and whichever higher power you choose to believe in, and setting goals and visualizing achieving those goals! Also, practicing the art of gratitude! It’s all good stuff!
So, what do I daydream about? Having 50,000 followers on this site with a 1,000 hits a day! Hiring designers to build a beautiful, interactive website! Writing and drawing funny children’s books, and blogging from the deck overlooking an ocean. I visualize sitting on Ellen’s stage, telling the story of a regular guy writing funny stories about parenthood, and crying like a baby when some publisher hands me one of those huge checks as a big fat advance on my first book deal! And would you believe it? Pearl Jam just happens to be on the show that day, and I get to sit in on drums for a song or two!
Do you see how much fun it is to think like a kid again!? Back when there were no limits to your dreams and imagination!? Do you see how much better you feel when you’re not focused on every silly little “problem” that you’ve created in your mind!? If you can learn to shift the way you think, you can start to see past all the “obstacles”, and just see yourself kicking some ass! You become happier, less stressed. You learn to live in the present and realize that you honestly can change anything in your life today with some knowledge and a little practice!
Why am I so excited about this stuff? I’ve told you in the past several times that I am… I mean WAS a “Negative-Nancy”! I concentrated so much on the negative, that I forgot what it felt like to feel good sometimes. Let me tell you, it feels SO MUCH BETTER being a “Positive Peter”! I refuse to be a grumpy bastard and risk passing that attitude onto my son! (I think my wife likes me better too) I’ll let you know what day we’ll be appearing on Ellen:)

DAY 276: One, Two, You’ll Be Sleeping In Poo!

I don’t know if I have a touch of the stomach flu, but it may as well be Malaria! I am a sickly, shaky, sweaty, toilet-hogging mess! I feel like one of those kids from Nightmare On Elm Street that were afraid to fall asleep! No, I’m not worried about Freddy. I’m worried about dosing off and shitting the bed! I’m staying as far away from Jake as possible until this passes!

DAY 275: Today, We Are All History Teachers

I can remember exactly where I was when I heard the news, 10 years ago today. I remember the skies getting quiet when all air traffic stopped. I remember the lines at the gas pump wrapped around the block. I remember being glued to the TV all night long. I remember my stomach aching for the people that were there. And I have watched our world change since.

Nine what? I No comprendo yet, Dad!

Jake will learn about today in a history class years from now. So will some of your kids. I think of older relatives that lived through the Great Depression and can tell us exactly what it was like. In this case, we are all history teachers.