It’s not that I don’t have a wildly outrageous and funny story to tell you about today. It just so happens that the new Apple iOS5 software update came out today and I’m downloading itunes right now! This could take a few more hours. I need to focus people. Funny poop stories continue tomorrow!

When I say little monsters, I’m not talking about Lady GaGa fans. I’m talking about 20lb little monsters that roam, crawl, and scoot through your house, demolishing everything they get their hands on. Today, Jake snatched a glass when I wasn’t looking and almost smashed it. Then he smacked his head off the closet door. Next he headed for the book shelf… And just think, he’s only 10 months old. Jeee-sus Christ! Click on the title to open post and see video.

//www.youtube.com/get_playerIn the last few days, Jake has learned how wave “bye-bye”. But he wasn’t making the connection of exactly when to use it. Today, as Mommy left for work, I said “say bye-bye to Mama!” He did it! Needless to say, Mama went to work with tears in her eyes. And I was left to clean the huge clump of sod from his diaper. I was a little teary eyed myself. Check out the video!

Sleep!? HA HA HA!!!

How much crack can a crack-baby crack before that crack baby finally cracks you? Jake doesn’t sleep. Therefore, we do not sleep. I think we’re starting to act a little goofy!

I’m not tired! Where’s the coffee ya big pansy!?

One of the most heart-wrenching things to do is to just let your baby…cry. Although sometimes, it’s your last resort. Jake is like a lightning bolt on meth. He would much rather play than sleep. He does not comprehend when he is exhausted. So, you set the mood. The boy is clean, dry, and fed. He should pass out, right? Wrong! He’s hanging on to the crib, jumping up and down, tossing pacifiers around the room like confetti! Sometimes all you can do is let him battle it out. It hurts to listen to. But, I think it’s essential to him gaining his independence, and us maintaining our sanity!

It starts with this…

Jake is becoming quite the little pantomime. He is starting to mimic chewing, laughing, drinking, pointing, stink-eyeing, you name it! Which reminds me, I really need to curb my usage of the middle finger before it’s too late. I can picture some sweet old lady leaning over his stroller to pinch his cheeks and he flips her “the bird” with a huge grin on his face.

And ends with this…

Having a chat in with mama in the backyard on a warm,  sunny day.

Day 300! I can not believe we are turning the corner toward Jake’s first birthday!!! As difficult as raising a child may seem sometimes, you just have to remember what’s important, and K.I.S.S. Keep it simple stupid. Enjoy the little moments…

Really? You told them what???

I mentioned this months ago, but the habit is out of control! Jake handles his nuts more than a pack of squirrels preparing for winter! I’m going to have to start spraying him with a water bottle like I’m training a cat! If he were a rapper, his name would be Sir Tugzhisnutzalot! Baby’s got sack!