It was a typical Daddy/Son morning. Jake and I ate breakfast. We fed the pony (“Honna” in Jake language). And, we went for our morning stroll around “Da ‘Hood”. The weather was perfect. Birds were chirping. All the neighbors waved HI! Jake returned their greetings with a “Hey-O”.
Our day was going along swimmingly, until… Upon arriving home and retrieving Jake and his accessories from the stroller, I instantly noticed one thing missing. The most important thing. MO’MO!!!!
My heart raced. Jake looked confused as his head swiveled left to right, searching for his favorite companion. I nearly panicked the moment I knew Jake realized… “WE F**KING LOST ELMO!!!”
I promised Jake everything would be OK as I quickly transferred him into the car seat. He was fitful and starting to boil over. We had to retrace our route, and quickly! The thought of some neighbor’s dog defiling Elmo in his fuzzy, red behind made me dizzy. How could I ever explain to Jake how his Dad let that happen to his bestest friend ever!? I let my guard down. Our machine had failed! He would never forgive me, nor would I forgive myself.
|I can’t even EATS without my Mo’Mo!!!|
I shoved those thoughts aside as I stepped on the pedal, revving the car up to nearly 15 miles per hour! I prayed that Elmo would return to us, unscathed. My eyes scanned the streets and sidewalks. My senses were on full alert. I refused to lose this fuzzy f**ker on my watch!
Just then, God himself intervened… I spotted that stuffed little bastard lying on the sidewalk where our last turn toward home would have been! “I FOUND MO”MO BUDDY!!!” I exclaimed to Jake! He yelled out ‘M’MOOOH!” I jumped from the car, after putting it in park of course, and hot-footed it over to the lifeless, little baby-calming aid. I checked Elmo for any signs of forced entry or bird shit. He was in pristine condition. Just a bit overheated from baking on the pavement. Crisis averted.
It was a quiet, content ride home. Jake was so traumatized from the event that he gulped down a bottle and fell fast asleep with his arm around his best pal minutes after hitting the crib.
Wait until after 7pm tonight. I think Daddy’s going to gulp down a few bottles himself!:)