Is This Proof That I Have A…Conscience? Please Advise!

What should I do????

Hello All! Sometimes I’m at odds with myself for making such personal stories so public. Am I a butt-hole to tell my kid’s entire life story, on the internet, no less!? Will Jake understand this later in life, or will he be embarrassed and resentful? Should I shut this whole thing down, make the book for Jake, and call it a wrap? 

I read the first ten days of Facebook posts, starting the day Jake was born. I remember how I felt like the proudest man alive. That part hasn’t changed. And here we are today.

Read how it all started…
Day 1: Better late than never! Weighing in at 7lbs 7oz, 20.5″. We’ve been awake since 8am on Thursday and we still can’t settle down! I am so proud of our little team and especially Mama J. No epideral. No pitosin. Just a lot of courage. An amazing story. Thanks everybody for everything along the way!!!

Day 2: I’m becoming the dorky Dad with the huge camera! I apologize if we haven’t called you personally yet. This is the easiest way to update. Mama’s recovering, Jake’s a perfect. He’s got more nicknames than days out of the womb! He went through several wardrobe changes last night, hence his newest…BABY GAGA!
Day 3: I explained to Jake why men’s fascination with boobs continues through life, even after they stop feeding from them. He showed me how to pee straight over your head while laying down. We dig each other:)
Day 4: I think the boy is developing some focus and expression. Because as we conga-line danced our way to the changing table, and I’m singing “Little Jakey’s squealing, cuz his big fat diapers’s feelin’ HOT, HOT, HOT!”, he just stared quizzically like, “who’s this goofy, babbling, pink blob?”
Day 5: Today we’re talking animals. I asked “What’s a cow say, Jake?” Response: Buuuuurrrrrrrp! “Excellent boy. Next, what’s the chicken say?” Response: Rrrrrriiiipppp!(fart). “So proud boy. What’s a piggy say?” Response: Combination sneeze mixed with a gurgle and a splat sound in his diapers. I know what he meant to say. So proud. Give him another day or two, he’ll get it:)
Day 6: Jake and I are finding we have a lot in common. We both enjoy hearing Pearl Jam while we eat. We prefer zippers over snaps, and fleece over terry-cloth. (Terry-cloth is for 70’s porn stars) We both adore boobs. We both have loose, seedy stools. We can both sleep while soaked in urine. And we each stain our under pants 7 to 10 times a day. Practically two peas in a pod!
Day 7: I explained to Jake that all people are different for a reason. Some are born a certain way, others may choose to become that way. He might make a choice in life that causes him discrimination and ridicule. But no matter how he grows up to be, I’ll love and support him either way. Cubs or Sox fan, I’ll never judge him:)
Day 8: I was so happy when Jake actually smiled at me for like, 4 seconds! His next action reminded me smiley faces are also a tell-tale sign of gas. The “PHHHHEEERRR” sound that erupted from his bum was bitter-sweet. But it left me smiling, so I pressed that poopy diaper into his baby book:)
Day 9: Today Jake and I had a serious chat about treating women with respect. I know that right now, he only sees women as a pair of boobs. But he needs to realize all the sacrifices they go through for the sake of kids just like him. Be polite. Be funny. Be chivalrous. Just be sweet, even to the mean ones. They might just have a crush on him. That’s how real men roll little man:)

Day 10: I had an idea. Then, two friends suggested similar things, solidifying my notion. And then, my wife bet me I couldn’t do it. So, I think I might try it. ‘365 Days in the Life of Jake’, or ‘Jake’s Lesson’? I have to log something (hopefully entertaining) that we talk about every day for one year. And I’m not making these things up! One condition, if you like it, someone has to call Oprah for me. My hands are full!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s