You’d Betta Eat Ya Mutha F**kin’ Veggies, Kid!


“Well, if you like burgers, give ’em a try sometime. I can’t usually get ’em myself because my girlfriend’s a vegetarian which pretty much makes me a vegetarian. But I do love the taste of a good burger. Mm-mm-mm.” – Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction 

I can totally identify with Mr. Jackson’s quote. My wife is what I would call 98% vegan. I think the only reason she adds meat to most recipes is to appease me. She could eat a huge salad every night for dinner, while I’d prefer a steak with some bacon on the side. It may be the reason she can wear the same clothes she did in high school, while I’m built like Chaz Bono.

I have to admit though, it’s starting to wear off on me. I’ve been making a conscious effort to add more fruits and vegetables to my diet. After only a couple weeks, I really do feel better, and my man tits are down almost a full cup size! I never knew celery could taste so good if it wasn’t stuck to a huge glob of peanut butter with some raisins in it!

Jake’s hooked too. Don’t get me wrong, he likes him some chicken. But how many kids eat cauliflower and broccoli without projectile vomiting it back in your face? I know I didn’t! It makes me feel good to know he’s getting the most nutritious food possible. Each week we have a huge box of organic fruits and veggies delivered to the house. It’s actually less expensive than if you purchased the individual items at Walmart. And it’s like Christmas each week because they always throw in a few surprises. So rather than sugary treats for desert, Jake gets an apple or yogurt with some berries or nannas in it. He loves it! 

This whole “eating cleaner thing” feels great! But I’ll never go full Vegan. I have to say, I just like the taste of meat in my mouth sometimes. Wait! What I meant was…

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